{"id":15940,"date":"2021-12-01T06:45:00","date_gmt":"2021-12-01T11:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/consciousenterprise.com\/main\/?p=15940"},"modified":"2024-05-28T02:54:50","modified_gmt":"2024-05-28T06:54:50","slug":"how-to-find-the-road-to-forgiving-and-forgetting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/consciousenterprise.com\/main\/all-posts\/relationships\/how-to-find-the-road-to-forgiving-and-forgetting\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Find the Road to Forgiving and Forgetting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Experts say the path to wellness begins with forgiving and forgetting. But how do you go about truly forgiving someone when they've grievously hurt you? I remember working with a Peruvian healer on a woman who had been abused by her father. The long-held anger, hurt, and another emotion we're ravaging her body. \"Forgive,\" the healer kept saying. \"No,\" she sobbed. She couldn't and wouldn't forgive him to save her life\u2014literally.<\/p>\n

The situation in which you want to exercise forgiveness may not be as traumatic as this woman's. Still, if you're willing and able to work on your emotional focus and release any desire for revenge or restitution from the transgressor, you have an honest chance of being able to forgive.<\/i><\/b> While the memory of what was done will remain, you don't have to keep reliving it. You can \"forget\" to be constantly reminded and negatively conditioned by it so you can truly put the past behind you and move forward.<\/p>\n

Follow these vital steps to be able to forgive and forget:<\/b><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Acceptance.<\/b> The first step to forgiving and forgetting is accepting that you've been wronged, rather than getting stuck on the thought that it should not have happened. If you can't accept what has happened, you won't be able to live with it or grow beyond it. To accept does not mean to condone. Acceptance is the starting point for moving your life forward in a positive direction.<\/li>\n
  2. Healing. <\/b>It's important to give yourself adequate time to heal. <\/i><\/b>The amount of time you need to experience relief from your pain varies; each person heals differently. If possible, you may want to try to limit your time with the person that hurt you while you reflect and heal.<\/li>\n
  3. Revitalize your relationship.<\/b> If you intend to maintain a relationship with the person you want to forgive, understand that all relationships, romantic or platonic, need nurturing to thrive.<\/i><\/b> If you ignore nurturing your relationship for too long because you're upset, it's likely to wither away. Once you've begun to experience the fruits of your healing process, begin spending time together. Go out for dinner, hang around your house or just spend a day together at the park. The location is of little importance, but the company is essential to revitalizing your connection.<\/li>\n
  4. Rebuild trust.<\/b> This should be done simultaneously while revitalizing your relationship. The person that hurt you should be working diligently towards making you feel secure in trusting them once again. Be open to their love, affection, and attempts to rectify their wrongs. <\/i><\/b>If you hold a grudge, you may be stuck in this rut for a lifetime.\n
      \n
    • It's also important to let the other party involved, especially if it's your spouse, know that it's okay to trust you too. Depending on their mistake and your personality, they may be expecting you to reciprocate and get revenge. Make an honest effort to reassure them that you wish to reconcile and start anew.<\/li>\n
    • If you are not interested in having a relationship with your transgressor, focus on rebuilding trust in yourself if it was damaged. Also be mindful of unhealthy, misplaced distrust of others because of what your transgressor did to you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
    • Let go. <\/b>To move forward, you must be willing to let go of everything you once thought was true and form a new reality. This is the foundation for truly forgiving and forgetting and applies to both of you if the other party remains involved.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Though it may seem unfair to ask you to make an effort when you're the one that's been wronged, this is the price of freeing yourself from the toxic shackles of unforgiveness. It's an investment really.<\/p>\n

      People can change. Trust can be restored. Destinies can be revived or reimagined. While the healing process may take time, people who are willing to put in the effort and seek happiness will experience that happiness and be all the stronger for it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Experts say the path to wellness begins with forgiving and forgetting. But how do you go about truly forgiving someone when they've grievously hurt you? I remember working with a Peruvian healer on a woman who had been abused by her father. The long-held anger, hurt, and another emotion we're ravaging her body. \"Forgive,\" the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":15960,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[211],"tags":[294,291,303],"class_list":["post-15940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-mentalhealth","tag-personaldevelopment","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Find the Road to Forgiving and Forgetting – w\/ Dr. M<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Reinvent yourself in mind, body, spirit, and money! Get top tips every Wednesday from Dr. M. 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