Manifestation. It's the process and ability to bring something into your experience and turn thoughts into tangible reality. If you've been struggling to manifest or attract what you want in your life, your emotional intelligence could be one surprising reason—even if you're a very spiritually intelligent person.
The inability to manifest or manifest fully, despite strong efforts or years of trying can be frustrating. It can make you feel defeated. If you consider yourself a reasonably self-aware or spiritually intelligent person, it might seem even more baffling that the things you are doing are not yielding the desired outcomes. Even more so if they've worked in the past. So why is it so difficult to manifest sometimes? One thing that you might have underestimated or overlooked entirely is the role emotions play in the manifestation process and the mind-body-spirit connection. Let me paint you a symbolic picture.
The effect of emotions on your consciousness and capacity
I sometimes have what are called lucid dreams. These are dreams in which you are aware that you are dreaming but also have full awareness of your waking self and memories. In one dream, I was at a dinner party and started to explore the house I was in once I became lucid. A loud noise startled me and instantly I lost my lucidity. I was back in the illusion of the dream. In a different dream, I sat down to meditate when I became lucid. My body started to levitate. Again, a loud noise frightened me. Instantly, I crashed to the floor, lost my lucidity, and was back in the illusion.
I share these dreams because they symbolize the powerful, instantaneous effect of emotions and "emotional interference" on your consciousness and your capacity to function mentally, physically, and spiritually. Emotions are magnetic. The magnetic emotional interference that derails manifestation can be particularly challenging for spiritual practitioners or spiritually intelligent people because:
- You might assume the spiritual work is addressing your emotional self. It may or may not be.
- Unintentionally, you might be using your spiritual practices to avoid dealing with your feelings. Thus, they get swept under the rug where they continue to trip you up.
- Deep, disruptive emotions that go unrecognized and unresolved can alter your awareness and perception of your reality. This can tether you to the illusion and (karmic) patterns they create.
These things can make your manifestation mojo seem broken or inconsistent. Developing greater emotional intelligence helps to disrupt the unconscious interference and break the illusion. It brings the clarity you need to get out of your head, out of your own way, and onto a path that you either may have been too blind to see or too reluctant to travel.
Spiritual Intelligence vs. Emotional Intelligence
So, what are these two types of intelligence I keep talking about? For the purposes of this article, I'll briefly define spiritual intelligence as the ability to understand, identify with, and apply spiritual awareness, knowledge, and wisdom. Although that may sound like it would automatically include emotions, think about people you might know who are spiritually intelligent yet not emotionally mature, self-aware, or in control. For example, someone might be emotionally volatile without realizing it. Or they may be blind to their insecurities, controlling nature, arrogance, selfishness, or poor decision-making in certain areas. In your own life, think of the times you might have started your day with a calming, mindful spiritual practice only to see it all fly out the window the moment you went to work or a certain person called.
Emotional intelligence, in the simplest of terms, is your ability to understand and master your emotional self, patterns, expressions, and connections. It allows you to effectively communicate and process your emotions, both of which are essential to reducing emotional interference. Even when you think you're being rational or spiritual, your emotions can work behind the scenes to secretly pull your strings, push your buttons, and influence your decisions. But the clues are there. With greater emotional intelligence, you're better able to recognize and make sense of these clues and resolve whatever interference they may be creating in your manifestation. What are some of those clues? Let me give you some hints…
10 common signs that your emotions may be compromising your power to manifest:
- Repeated self-sabotage or feeling constantly blocked by others or by "something."
- Being too in your head to get out of your own way.
- Emotionally draining or toxic home or work environments.
- Can't meditate or get other spiritual techniques to work.
- Feeling paralyzed by indecision, internal conflict, or self-doubt.
- Can't get or stay motivated enough to produce the desired result.
- Chronic procrastination, distraction, or disorganization.
- Difficulty maintaining balance or stability in some areas of your life or relationships.
- Difficulty making beneficial people connections or getting support.
- Poor personal boundaries.
If you identified with any of these signs, then increasing your emotional intelligence can help you transform emotional interference into the emotional mastery you need to manifest more powerfully and reliably. So how do you develop emotional intelligence? Training, practice, and habit building.
Developing greater emotional intelligence involves building a number of key skills including emotional self-management and awareness, relationship management, personal pattern recognition, and a range of social skills and awareness, including communication—all of which contribute to becoming a more self-actualized person.
Emotional intelligence training exercise: Triple AAA
Emotional intelligence training is a natural part of the work I do with my psychotherapy and coaching clients. It is so essential in helping people make leaps and bounds in their lives, careers, confidence, and relationships that I created a stand-alone emotional intelligence training course, "10 Steps Forward" (10StepsForward.com) to help people do just that—even if they are unable to work with a therapist or a coach. An emotional intelligence exercise I frequently give when working 1-on-1 with clients who are stuck and struggling to manifest their dreams is something I call "Triple AAA." It's a 3-step formula that helps to 1) quiet unconscious noise, 2) clearly see what's disrupting the manifestation process, and 3) identify ways to resolve it. To do this exercise successfully requires honest feedback and objectivity. If you have difficulty being objective about yourself (another emotional intelligence skill), consider doing this exercise with a partner or a group, or book a 1-on-1 session with me.
Step 1 – Accept
Whatever the outcome of your manifestation has been, accept it. 'Accept' does not mean to be resigned to it. It simply means to objectively recognize and acknowledge the good, bad, and ugly facts about what is and is not unfolding—without judgment or sugar-coating. Distinguish the fantasy from reality.
Step 2 – Assess
What's working? What's not? What's missing? What's being overlooked or underutilized? Review, measure and evaluate your process and yourself honestly and objectively (like a really good boss would). Is there a discrepancy between what you are ready, able, and willing to do and what your intended manifestation needs you to do? Also, think about your repeating patterns that keep the cycle going. The proof is often in the pudding but, if you find this step difficult, you're likely touching on deep emotions and limiting beliefs that cloud your judgment and sabotage your ability to move forward. (If you subscribe to my M Power Post, I sent you "10 Questions to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs" as part of your welcome series. Take a look at those to help with this step.)
Step 3 – Adjust
After making your assessment, ask yourself what adjustments you need to make in your thinking, attitude, or behavior to be more in line with both your intention and your reality. Making one key change can be enough to completely turn things around. If you find yourself resistant to change, it's usually a big red flag revealing where you need greater flexibility (yet another emotional intelligence skill) so you can bend your reality and yourself into the desired shape.
The emotional mastery you gain by developing emotional intelligence gives you greater insight, foresight, and power over the patterns that influence your life. Sign up for my emotional intelligence training course at 10StepsForward.com, to master your emotions and create the self and success you want.