Have you ever considered having a relationship meeting to bring you closer to your partner? A relationship meeting is a 30 minute to 90 minute meeting where you both can talk about your relationship.
At first, it might feel silly to schedule a relationship meeting. It might seem unnatural or forced. But a relationship meeting (of course, you can call it whatever you want) can create a place for you and your partner to check in, share your perspectives, and create a shared vision as you move forward.
For couples that struggle with communication, setting aside a regular time to check in can be very beneficial.
Relationship meetings help couples to:
- Create space to share more of what you need
- Stay accountable to the relationship
- Deepen the relationship
- Improve communication
- Get more comfortable with each other
The strongest relationships are the way they are because of dedicated, hard work. A part of that work is evaluating how you and your partner have been feeling, and what you can do to improve going forward.
Scheduling a regular relationship meeting can help both parties see the relationship from the other's perspective, and create a shared vision moving forward!
How to Plan a Relationship Meeting
- Decide a consistent day (and time) to have the relationship meeting. By scheduling the relationship meeting to be on a consistent day, it can turn into a predictable habit that's easier to plan around.
- How often will you have them? Once every week is ideal, but if biweekly or once monthly works better, that's okay too. You can also start with once a month, and then progress into having meetings more often.
- Planning a relationship meeting on the weekend is a good time to reflect on the previous week, as well as talk about plans for the upcoming week.
- Agree on ground rules. Before you have your first relationship meeting, agree on ground rules with your partner. Here are some suggestions:
- Commit to listening with understanding and empathy. Make a commitment to understand your partner's perspective.
- Use "I" statements. Using "I" statements helps make the discussion less confrontational, and focuses on what you need instead of pointing fingers at the other person.
- Be open to compromise and finding solutions that benefit both parties. Remember that at the end of the day, you are a team!
- Start with a check-in. Begin by talking about how you both feel in the present moment, and then move into positive wins that happened in the previous week.
- How do you feel?
- What did you enjoy most about this previous week?
- Name your needs. Is there anything you either need more of, or anticipate needing your partner's support with in the upcoming week?
- Remember to use "I" statements when you name your needs.
- This part of the relationship meeting is also a good part to check in with both parties to see if there are any unresolved issues that can be discussed.
- Discuss the upcoming week. What plans do you have for the week ahead? This is a good time to get on the same page as your partner, share plans, and see where you may need help or support in the upcoming week.
- Share appreciation. Share appreciation for your partner! Be specific, and share things your partner does that make you feel loved. This can motivate them to do more of it.
- End with gratitude. When we practice gratitude, dopamine is released in our brain, which makes us feel good. Gratitude helps shift your mind to positive thoughts, which can help you feel more positive. This is the best way to end your relationship meeting!
- Take turns naming 3 things you are grateful for.
Although scheduling a relationship meeting might feel weird at first, the work will result in a loving, lasting partnership. It will feel great to see both you and your partner tending the relationship and making positive changes.