Do you forget a person's name right after they tell it to you? Do you often find yourself in embarrassing situations where people remember your name but you're unable to recall theirs?
Some people seem to have an inherent talent for remembering names, but we're not all that fortunate. That just means the rest of us have to put a little effort into learning this important social skill.
The reason I'm including this article for Wealth & Wellness Wednesdays is because relationships are golden. As far as wealth is concerned, "your network is your net worth," as the saying goes. And when it comes to wellness, having a supportive network is invaluable. I think you'll agree that not remembering peoples' names probably doesn't bode well for a strong network.
Dale Carnegie, long known for his approach to business success, formulated an interesting 3-step method for remembering peoples' names. Step 4, although not Dale Carnegie's, will also help.
Try these strategies to help you memorize names the first time you meet someone:
- Immediately start imprinting the person's name in your mind.
Typically, when we meet someone new, we tend to focus on being polite. However, it's wise to focus, instead, on the person's name.
-
- Pay close attention to their name and make eye contact with them as you restate it. "Paul, nice to meet you."
-
- If you don't catch the name, don't be embarrassed to ask. State something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name; could you repeat it?" Then, when they say their name, say it back to them to ensure you get it right, like, "Oh, it's very nice to meet you, Jane Doe."
- Repeat the name over and over. After you've said the name of the person back to them, repeat it to yourself mentally — "Jane Doe, Jane Doe, Jane Doe."
- When you do this, you're applying a basic rule of memory theory — if you want to remember something, repeat it over and over again to store it into your short-term memory.
- To solidify the name into your long-term memory, repeat it to yourself throughout the day, evening, and even the next day. Think, "Last night, I met Jane Doe and John Smith." Perhaps mention it in your journal or jot it down in your calendar.
- When you meet up with another friend at the social event, mention, "I just met Jane Doe; she's the woman with red hair and blue dress over there." Any type of repetition of the person's name will help you remember it later.
- Connect the name to an image in your mind. This strategy is very powerful. Create a mental picture of the person that will help you remember their name.
-
- For example, if the person's name is Rose Brown, imagine her sitting on a brown horse holding a bouquet of roses. Carnegie stressed that the more elaborate and nonsensical your mental picture, the more likely you are to recall the person's name.
- Of course, there will be times when the person's name doesn't contain familiar words like "rose" or "brown" or may be uncommon. During those times, there is all the more reason to visualize a quirky picture that will help you remember the person's name. For example:
- If a person's name is Gloria Armstrong; imagine her singing the song, "Gloria" while pumping iron with massive biceps.
- When I was a girl, I had a book that used quirky pictures to teach state capitals. To this day I remember Topeka, Kansas as a toe peeking around a corner at a can of "sas."
- Use technology. Use your smartphone's voice recording app to repeat a person's name and a brief description of their characteristics. If you don't have voice recording capability, type in a quick note of the person's name, where you met, and some facts about the person.
Whether you decide to use some or all of these tips to remember names, you will definitely increase your ability to recall someone's name later. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how successfully you recall names of people you've only briefly met. You may even be more ready, able, and willing to engage with people when you have the confidence of knowing their names. Strengthen your memory for names by practicing these simple strategies.