Who wouldn't like to be at least a little more charismatic? "We all know someone that" seems to have a magical power over other people. This person can attract and influence people in a way that is hard to describe, but you know this type of person when you see them.
We all know what charisma looks like, but it's not easy to figure out what charismatic people do that sets them apart from the rest of us. The good news is that you don't have to be born charismatic. You can boost your charisma significantly with some time and dedication. Before you know it, you'll be the one that everyone wants to invite to their party.
Increase your charisma by incorporating a few simple strategies into your life:
- Smile. Smiling is cheap, easy, feels good, and is a good way to put others at ease. We feel better when we deal with someone that is smiling versus someone that is scowling. People will feel more comfortable around you if you're smiling, and you appear more open to communication.
- Listen. We love people that listen to us. Yet it seems that hardly anyone can pay attention long enough to have a decent conversation anymore. If you want to be popular, listen to others when they're talking to you. They'll leave the conversation thinking that you're a great conversationalist!
- Have great eye contact. Maintaining good eye contact is another way to make someone feel important. Ensure that you're not looking around while interacting with someone. Give them your full attention.
- Give a compliment. Remember that being charismatic is largely about making others feel good in your presence. A compliment is an easy way to make someone feel great. Just be certain that your compliment is sincere. Most people can tell a fake compliment from a real one.
- Ask questions. Another way of showing interest is to ask questions. It's also an easy way to keep a conversation going. Most people love to talk about themselves and will be excited if you show interest in them.
- Let your grooming speak well for you. It's hard to be considered charismatic if you look like you haven't bathed or put clean clothes on for a few days. Your grooming and clothing are one way to demonstrate your status to the world. When you look sharp, others think more highly of you.
- Show confidence. Confidence shows that you are at ease and helps to put others at ease too. We're naturally attracted to confident people. Confidence is challenging to fake, so this one might take some work! What does confidence look like? Imagine any skill or ability that you demonstrate confidently. Think about how you appear and behave while doing it. Show that!
- Be enthusiastic. Have something that excites you? Allow your enthusiasm to show. A negative and grumpy person will struggle to demonstrate charisma. Share your enthusiasm about your life. Look for things to be enthusiastic about daily.
There are only three things you really need to do to be more charismatic: be interesting, be interested, and make others feel good in your presence. You'll notice that all of these tips fall into at least one of these areas.
You don't have to be born with amazing people skills to be skillful at these strategies. You just have to practice. You can be more charismatic today just by choosing one strategy and applying it.
It may take time for it to become natural, but it's worth the journey. Consider how your life would change if you were more charismatic.
PS: If you find these strategies particularly difficult, it likely points to deeper issues. Try one or more of these steps to help you break through:
- Start with the strategy that seems the least difficult and practice it. Journal your experiences and your feelings about them.
- Learn the skill you're having difficulty performing. Read a book or take a class, for example.
- Set the items as goals. Apply the emotional intelligence exercises and lessons from my online course toward achieving the goal.